6 Redflags You Should Look Out For Before Committing To Him

 

 

Before saying “I do”, every woman wants to ensure she is making the right choice. But what are the deal breakers to look out for in a partner. In this article, we will explore six key things to look out for before committing to him. See also link.

1.    Overly controlling behavior: While it is normal for men to exhibit domineering behaviors especially as a sign of care and masculinity, crossing the line into overly controlling behavious can be utterly draining. This behavior can be subtle but it is essential to recognize the signs early enough.

Let’s take for instance, you intend to go out maybe with your friends for a dinner and a movie, it is normal to ask questions like “ Are you driving or taking an Uber?”, “Just making sure, are you meeting your friend in a safe location?”, “What time do you think you will be home? These questions are about seeking clarification and in fact, showing some level of concern. On the other hand, questions like: “Why do you need to go out with your friends tonight?”, “Can’t you choose somewhere else?”, “If you really love me, you’d stay home with me” often indicate excessive monitoring, restrictive behavior and emotional manipulation.

A study published in the journal of ‘family psychology’ cited that a red flag ignored before tying the knot only intensifies in marriage. Overly controlling behaviors are often very visible before tying the knot, it is therefore important to look well before you leap.

2.    Isolates you from friends and family: In "Redflags to look out for Before committing to Her", I exposed that when a woman genuinely likes you, she’s not only proud of you in secret but also in public. The same can be said for a man.

When He claims to be in love with you but never take initiatives to introduce you to friends, family and the people that matters to him, it often indicates a lack of serious intentions toward you, fear of being vulnerable with you, He’s not proud of you in public, might be ashamed or embarrassed when associated with you in public.

 

Either ways, it is a serious course to look through critically before embarking on a more committed romantic affair with him.

3.    Physical, Mental and/or emotional Abuse: Physical abuse often involve intentional harm or injury, such as hitting, pushing, damage to properties etc. and may stem from underlying poor anger management. Mental and emotional abuse could be more subtle, yet very emotionally draining in the long run. It may include constant criticism or belittling, making your doubt your sanity, often guilt-tripping or making emotionally blackmailing statements like “If you really love me, you’d do so and so”.

 

Abuse is never an acceptable response to any problem.

 

4.    He is a substance addict: Substance/ drug addiction can be a significant red flag in a relationship. Addiction with hard drugs can lead to erratic behaviors, mood swings and poor decision making. Hard drugs intake create a temporary sense of euphoria, making users feel invincible and overly confident. As the highs wear off, users often experience a feeling of emptiness, anxiety and lower self-esteem.

 

Do you want a man whose decision making is continuously being influenced by drugs, or one who falls back to emptiness when they wear off? You can look deeper.

 

5.    Disrespect Towards Women: If He makes sexist or misogynistic comments like: “I don’t think women should work outside the home”, “women are inferior to men intellectually”, or comments which objectify women, like: “I love your lips, they are so full and perfect”, “Your butts are just so on point, I wish I can just get down with you now”. While some of them may seem like a compliment, they are often traits of deep-seated disrespect for you right before your face.

 

6.    Lack initiatives to make money: A man who lacks initiative to make money may exhibit  the following behaviours: No clear direction or passion for his career, He is hesitant to take risks or invest in opportunities that could potentially increase his earnings, lacks entrepreneurial spirit, very comfortable with where He currently is and puts no efforts to improve.

 

This lack of initiative may likely spiral into a bigger challenge that you never could have imagined after tying the knot.

 

CONCLUSION: It is important to realize that the red flags cited above are not in all cases all exclusive to terminate your relationship with your partner. Seek measures to resolve them when necessary or otherwise if you cannot cope both present and in the future.