6 Red flags Every Man should Look Out for Before Committing To Her

WHAT REDFLAGS ARE:

Have you ever been on a vehicle or driving down a familiar road when suddenly, the traffic light turns red. You know what that often signify right? STOP or DO NOT PROCEED. The red light is a   clear warning signal, alerting you to potential danger or risk ahead. And what happens when we violate the Red light signal? It can lead to accidents, collision with other vehicles and potentially loss of lives. Additionally, there are penalties for disobeying the red light rule.

Similarly, when it comes to relationships and emotional affairs, there are usually clear warning signs that screams loudly “Do not proceed”. But often times, you are too carried away with the butterflies in your belly and rush of emotions with her.

In this article, I will not only expose you to the major red lights but will also provide tips that will sharpen your mind to always spot them amidst rush of butterflies in your belly.

Let’s dive in:

1.    Her Relationship with her father: Some studies unraveled the concept of father wound. In both genders, you are said to suffer from the father wound trauma if you have a poor relationship with your father growing up, or suffered from the negative effects of having an abusive, neglectful or entirely absent father. It has been proven over and over again, that the father figure especially in a woman’s life greatly affects how she relates with men, especially the one(s) she is romantically involved with.

In the African culture, a woman is expected not only to respect her spouse but honor him, and this entails total submission and obedience to him. Not as a demi God-figure over her, but simply as a leader by nature and leadership usually, come off with responsibilities.

These values are usually picked up from the typical African home where the mother is seen forehand by the children doing same to their father. Unfortunately, this value is often absent in a girl a child where the father was absent in her formative years, greatly impacting how she relates with Men.

Unlike rain, honor and the culture of submission do not fall from the sky. It could be traced back to the family dynamics. This is why it must be of utmost consideration before committing to a woman you are interested in.

2.    Wrong family dynamics: Time and chance has shown that; A woman who does not honor her father is unlikely to honor her husband. That a woman whose mother does not regard her father as the figure who wills the final say is more likely to do same to her man when she finally ties the knot. That a woman whose mother publicly disagrees with her father is more likely to disrespect and disagree with her husband’s decisions in public. Her family dynamics is important as it gives a clearer indication of what is more likely to happen when you tie the knot.

 

3.    Nothing is ever her fault: When a woman consistently blame others, make excuses or denies responsibility for her actions, this behavior often indicates a lack of accountability and some level of narcissistic tendencies which can short live or damage relationships, not only with you but with everybody that should matter in her life.

 

When nothing is never her fault, a toxic environment thrives. This can create an imbalance in the relationship’s power dynamics, can erode trust and creating a sense of emotional distance and disconnect. It can be emotional draining and may lead to a feeling of burnout and exhaustion on the other party. A study published in the journal of ‘family psychology’ cited that a red flag ignored before tying the knot only intensifies in marriage. When nothing is ever her fault before tying the knot, nothing including “nothing” will most likely be her fault after tying the knot.

 

4.    Her affection is inconsistent and erratic: Imagine being in a relationship where your partner is extremely affectionate one day, but suddenly completely distant the next day. This hot-and-cold behavior can leave you feeling uncertain and insecure. Think of a partner who shows affection only when you’ve done something they approve of, like cooking their favorite meal or buying them a gift. Imagine a partner who shows affection only when they are in good mood, but becomes cold and distant when they are stressed or upset. This can be a sign of a deeper issue which may include:

§  Fear of intimacy and vulnerability secondary to childhood trauma

§  recent history of heartbreak(s) experience she’s yet to heal from

§  Manipulative tendencies.

§  A lack of emotional intelligence

When these possible underlying causes are not resolved, it can lead to emotional   distress-constantly feeling unloved and may precipitate to resentment and anger. Can you sign up for those games all the rest of your life?

5.    Isolates you from friends and family: When a woman genuinely likes you, she’s not only proud of you in secret but also in public. She is proud to introduce you to her friends, family and to the world. Usually, when a woman fails or finds it difficult to do that, it may indicate her uncertainty about her feelings for you. It is ideal when there is mutual consentment  and emotionally draining when you are the only person truly in love.

6.    Has very poor financial management skills: A woman who genuinely likes you will be more interested in building a connection based upon mutual trust, understanding and a desire to see you grow, including your finances. When you have one with poor financial decision making, higher chances are that it may rub off on your finances, creating a cycle of financial stress and struggle, debt. It may also impact on your long term financial goals.

Conclusion: Committing to a romantic partner can be a beautiful experience. But while feelings are a vital component of any romantic affair, the journey to a sustainable one begins with looking closer and beyond emotions because sustainable relationships are built on intentionality rather than butterflies alone.